Friends

I find a lot of value in people, but there is something very different in a friend, its a constent feed of good feelings, emotions that really capture you...friends demonstrate time and time again how much you mean to them...I am very lucky I have many friends...people I can trust, people that touched me with sympathy and empathy, perhaps in difficult situations they approach me with only the truth and that is always something I cherish.
Other than the obvious mutual understanding there is always something more, the kindness wins over, a sense or care and attention, its a very personal relationship, you can be you in front of your friends. From a dork to a cry baby, friends won't judge, they won't put you down and I have found many who have passed in my life and I am proud with my chest sore with pride I have met such wonderful people...who were in my life just for a glimpse and who I have had to say good bye because of death...and some who continue to make me happy...

The 1st person I dared call my best friend was Lisa D. ever since I was young we use to shake food, eat what was really good back then hot cheetos we hung out together after school, she use to live right across the street from my house we grew very close from my 1st grade all the way before going into my junior high I enjoyed having her over my house she lived with her mother who could not talk so she was very fluent in sign language, time passed and we remained close but all of a sudden she moved and I never heard of her again, years passed as I grew up I thought about her constantly and me and mom decided to visit the old neighborhood and we found her grandmother, she gave me the terrible news that she had tragically lost her life in a car crash with her mother.

Candy was "Miss Hello Kitty" in my class she always had the most prettiest things her mother never denied her anything I use to sit with her not knowing why everyone else didn't want to even touch her, she didn't have that much hair, her skin was so super soft and she only wore the softest clothes, many times she took hats to school because her doctor told her she had to protect her head from the sun...I did visit her many times because she was always a sweetheart, many made fun of her appearance, she taught me a lot of accepting different people into my heart, she had cancer and died soon after her 12th birthday...

Alicia R. she was my best friend almost all through high school, I hanged out with her many times, she was so pretty and so shy, she was always a little chubby, but we were always together sharing lunch and what not...she stopped talking to me because she had a boyfriend almost right after high school and I think she went to college and I think she might have a baby...

Monica aka "Lang Lang" Ive known her for a few years now almost 5yrs. She continues to talk to me she is always very present in my mind and in my thoughts we talk and write so much, she makes such a difference in my life, and even though it was somewhat of a rough start for both of use because we didn't really like each other, we found common ground, we found that both us had autistic siblings, we both found out we lived in the same street at the time and many other equal likes and dislikes...she is a very responsible girl, when in trouble I talk to her for comfort, when in a happy mood I can't contain myself I talk to her and she does the same with me, she makes me laugh a lot "payasita"... and what I love the most is that my whole family views her as family .
Mayra aka "Sally" This girl is someone worth admiring I got to know her around the same time I got to know Monica, all of us worked together, and what a team we were!!! Mayra is called "Sally" because her appearance is uncanny to Tim Burton's creation The Nightmare Before Christmas, well she looks like Sally to my eyes, but Mayra who is also very nice and responsible very strong girl, I am lucky to have met such a person, somewhat shy and such a beautiful voice, she has been through thick and thin with me my family loves her so much.

Petey was a very nice addition to my friends list for the obvious reason of course, he was and still is very much in love with Mayra, oh how it all comes together, when I met him he was college, always a hard worker, always wanting to learn new things and be on top of so many duties no wonder he was pretty much our manager, yes all 4 of us worked together at Red Brick, he is the most driven and the most likely to succeed at anything, yes he is that type of person, the one people fall in love with his personality, his guidence and spirit a fav. addition to my friends and I have known him for the same amount of years as Monica and Mayra.


Jackie...she is fierce, driven to the max on education and very much opinionated at such a young age she shows no fear for the future, she met me pregnant, sad and with my self esteem on the floor pretty much, and with out her knowing she made such a difference so deep, so profoundly sincere, she admires her mother for being so strong and what I love about Jackie is that she tries not to fail, which is what surprises me because at her age the only thing that use to happen on a constant basis to me was failure here and there, because of either immaturity or just stupid choices, that is why when I met Jackie I was astonished, and still am, her stories and basically all her life has made me realize its worth taking risks and making the right choice from the beginning and thinking before you do anything in life...

Now all of these people are only a few that have enchanted me with their life and with their stories, I have shared experiences good and bad, to all of my friends out in the world I thank you for being part of my life.

Madi*

Baby

"Baby mine don't you cry, baby mine

dry your eyes.Rest your head close to my heart.
Never to part...Baby of MINE!!!"

The news of a baby was such a surprise totally unexpected, and in real life a baby is a beautiful thing and my family was supportive and so was Ashley's family everyone was really nice and very helpful to a point.

Me and Ash became so much closer we went through at least 4 pregnancy tests before we told my family, we celebrated and of course I got a room of my own, soon after that Ash moved into my house...we didn't have much space for us but it was what we could afford at the time, my sisters got a room for themselves and I was always under the watchful eyes of my mother and grandmother, I had many things done, oil baths, massages, small walks, a lot of chinese food, and pretty much stayed at home in bed, specially in the hot days...

I loved being pregnant because I had a certain style now, my mother bought most of my clothing I wore very little clothes when I was at home because I wanted to be comfortable, my father took many pictures and my sisters took me out on so many events, and Ashley spend time with me taking me to the Arboretum and my parents took me to Venice Beach, touched the water, my skin felt so soft, and just that pregnant glow that many women have...and just the thought of having my baby in my arms was such a joy.

Months past pretty quick and all though I felt good, there were times in which I was dizzy most, I didn't take that many breaks from work, but around my 5 month I wasn't feeling good at all and I didn't know what it was, aside from my pregnancy my doctors didn't know what was wrong, till about a 2 weeks or so after my 5 month the doctor who was gonna be with me at my child's birth had made disturbing surprise, I had something called pre eclampsia.

Pre eclampsia is a frightening thing, its protein in the urine and aside from that your bodily fluids are retained, I got so swollen my face, my neck, my feet, my hands and it was so hard to breath... I was finally taken to the Women's and Children's Hospital in LA, I was so scared because at the hospital they saw how bad my blood pressure really was, I felt so sad because I thought it was my fault and that I had eaten badly and perhaps I didn't do enough exercise, but soon the nurses who told me that its not my fault, my doctors told me that it just happens specially in 1st pregnancies or in women who will have twins for the as a 1st pregnancy and no one really understands why, the only known cure is to take the baby out...but I was gonna be watched over and they wanted to keep observing me.

Shortly after I was placed into the hospital like 4 days after, the nurses noticed my blood pressure rising again to a dangerous level, then after about 30 minutes before 12pm I was already on an operating table the baby was only 6 months and doctors told me that they would do everything to make me and the baby survive... in those instances I felt my body move so much later then after I realized my vision was not right I was seeing colors all over the place then all I heard was a nurse say "she is having a seizure!!!" I lost consciousness after that and I was woken up by the sound and the most beautiful cry I have ever heard in my life.

Ashley was by my side and after I was able to kiss the baby they took her to the NICU and I was then stitched together, and was taken back to my room on a very high medication and pain killers, I was so numb from the waist down and I was scared I didn't remember much and then after I just opened my eyes every few hours I saw my mother crying of course she was happy but she was also scared for my life...I had seen my mother in law, I think she gave me a kiss on the forehead, I remember seeing my 3 best friends... my sisters were there and I wanted to see my grandparents so badly but they were in Guatemala on vacation at the time...but over all it was a day I will never forget even though half the time I was asleep.

The baby was born only weighing 3 pounds, I was able to walk normally and with little pain after a week...then 2 weeks after that and the baby weighing now 5 pounds we took her home to her new home...


Art by Sascalia

Jobs the Good and the Bad

Job #1 Sewing Factory
Like I said it was something I was familiar with in a way because I started working at a tender age. My first job was to work with my mother on the weekends, I was in charge of trimming the little strings from the clothes, not really a hard job, it was kinda boring at times, but it was something that gave me a weekly check, I was up at around 5am had a cup of coffee and by 5:30am I was already working, my mother ironed all the clothes...and so on and so forth...then eventually my boss moved me up to where I became one of the people that actually put the clothes together and that became much more fun, I had my own machine and imagined so many things and I got the chance to have my head set and pumped the music until the work day was over...

With the job at the sewing factory our boss was really kind and helped my mom out a lot, we were going through a tough time in the family and my mom needed a break from it all, and us me and my sisters that is, we were about the same age as our manager's daughters well we all went out for camping in the summer, went to Las Vegas at least about 4 times... It was so much fun!!


Job #2 "La Miss's" Factory
After the sewing factory me, my mother and sister started to working at another sewing factory again I found myself working on trimming little strings, and then I ironed just like my mother worked about 6 days a week and about almost 12 hours every day... not the coolest place, but we all stayed together and were happy with the weekly money.

Job #3 #4 Industrial Companies McCormick/ Mojave
Since the sewing factory was going out of business really quick my mom and me started going to work agencies, something completely new to me, but we went and ended up at Mojave it was a much better place to work at I was 1st in charge of packaging products into pallets and arranged the boxes in a certain order, eventually I started using the sealing machines to close the bags, then I went to weighing the product and that was actually very fun.

At the McCormick factory our job was to put little amounts of vegetables into a little plastic container and make sure the quantity and quality was perfect, it was the coldest place I have ever worked at, very uncomfortable, but I worked every day, then they fired my sister, then my mom, and so seeing my family go I quit.

Job #5 Little Caesar's
Before I had to quit McCormick I decided to keep the industrial job and have a second job as something to fall back on, but at the pizza place I only lasted 2 days, did not like the ladies...I mean they were really tough and not so grateful.

Job #6 Red Brick Pizza
So I still had the McCormick job and I still felt like I needed a second job and so I did when I finally reached Red Brick it was a new restaurant, it was the grand opening and me and my new coworkers were all my age just about... so we all got along pretty quick and I worked with my sister...then when they fired her, I stayed there for about 2 years.

Job#7 Senior Care Center
Yes I have taken care of the elderly... but specifically elderly people with mental problems such as Alzheimer, Parkinson's, Autism, and many more... I use to change diapers, clean so much, cut their nails, paint their nails, be very talkative super friendly and act as much as possible, just dance and clap and make little bracelets, I grew very close to many, and it was sad when I had to leave because I didn't want to go.

Job#8 Food 4 Less
The only job that has made me lose weight, and push my buttons to a very emotional point, I hated my 1st 2 weeks, I got the worst jobs to do, I had to get the carts, help people that were mean, clean the entire store, clean things that didn't look like food or products from the store, clean bathrooms, in a matter of days I was in trouble for not letting my manager know I had to go on break eventually I was moved up to a cashier and with that came a new set of problems and I got irritated most of the time...then I got the hang of things I got to know many people and even though I was still struggling I kept going and no matter what I stayed, I survived and I fell in love with the store, and I loved everyone in it...so if there was any job I loved the most was this one...

Art by Sascalia

P.S. I love YOU

Moving was very hard... far away from the guy I had a crush on, and then finally barely getting together with , everything was moving at a very harsh and rapid pace, the part I enjoyed the most back then was that I got to meet his family, they were and still are wonderful people, hard working father, very faith dedicated mother and very successful in her own career, his older sister was expecting a baby back then, his other older sister was actually a very hard working girl too going out with her husband to be back then, and an older brother who was very dedicated to his fav. sport, baseball.

All though I got to meet everyone things still were not right with me... In my mind nothing made sense unless I had Ash in my life...But you can't fight against certain things in life, and so like a dramatic story we left and I did not see my boyfriend in over a course of 3 months, the worst months of my life, and from what I remember I cried almost every day, my father and mother laughed most of the time, of course reminding me that there is always time in life... but me being the drama queen and the hopeless romantic all I wanted was to see Ash.

Many things happened, I actually had a scooter accident, had half of my face swollen but with heavy medication and a good reminder of safety 1st from my father and mother I was good in a matter of weeks...It tore me apart not seeing Ash, not being able to share my thoughts and time and actually dedicating my love to someone who always listened.

Little did I know that my mother was planning a little trip going back to Norwalk, and so I was all for it, while her and my sisters went out for a movie and my mother's errand I stayed with Ash, and told him all about my accident and how much I missed him.

The most wonderful thing that I looked forward every single time I held a pen or a pencil I knew I could always write my heart out to him, and he did the same the few times he could, young and so in love with his image and the thought of having him near was to die for...for me of course.

Finally he decided to take his chances and he tried seeing me almost every weekend, and when I say he took his chances its because he had no car back then and it was 10 miles to my house, and so he rode his bike all those miles just to see me for a mere 48 hours...and sometimes not even that, expecting him was a celebration for me, and something to look forward to...

Things kept being very moderate, I had my whole family and my man and so I was at a legal age to start working full time, and after I got my citizenship things got a lot easier, and so there I was once again thrown into a whole new world.



Art by Ashley Mayhew

Love

"Hi..Im Ashley" we stayed pretty quiet for a couple of seconds and then laughter came from my sister, her face made me laugh and so he laughed too...after that we met in the same class again day after day...

In school othings were going pretty good, until I was called to my counselors office...she then told me that I as a few credits short for graduation, and if I wanted to graduate on time, I had to either come up with someway to do all the projects the kids did all year in a time span of 3 months...at 1st I was like no problem, then it turned really bad... I was working weekends, going to adult school almost everyday, doing projects and going to the library whenever I had the time...failed a few tests...and in the end I couldn't finish on time, I was short so many little assignments that I was really overdoing it and not getting enough done...in all this one day I went back to my art class after a talk with my counselor, I was not feeling well I wanted to cry I didn't want to fail, but I had no time...When I finally got to class it was almost lunch time...I saw Ashley sitting down...and so I go up to him, I told him quietly "can I lay my head on your legs??" he said "yea"...and that's when it hit me...I liked this guys a lot!!!! I really like him and I thought about him all the time...I found myself at work, and in adult school and at home just thinking about him...I never did plan to tell him how I felt, but just the way "Nancy" held him...and then I heard something she had said about him..."I want him cause I want money...and cause he needs to buy me stuff cause Im his girlfriend" in my mind I was like "NO WAY!!!!!" he was always such a nice guy, almost didn't say much but still nice...days went by, I started writing to him, telling him about my day and thoughts, and really did not mention to him what I have heard... he wrote to me a couple of times in one of the few conversations we had back then he said something that I will never forget, he said that he had mixed feelings for someone, I took that as a another job to try and figure out who this other girl was???!!!

A few more days pass... I got upset but I didn't let him see how sad and angry it made me feel...On one not so special day after school I did my usual walk with my sister Laura towards Adult School...little did I know was that Ashley was right behind us...he started carrying me by surprise and I came up with a the fabulous idea to go to his house...I figured that I would know where he lived...so I could "occasionally" drop by... no too far from adult school he lived a few blocks away...so we finally go into his house, its was big and beautiful and it had a million things everywhere...pictures all over the place, candles, and little collectible bottles, tables and a chairs comfortable couches...I tell him to give us a tour and so he does... his room was nice, there were so many gadgets everywhere and blankets and his back pack, games all over the place...we finally go into crazy kids mode and my sister votes for us to play a game...hide and seek!! and so we did it was cool because he knew his house 110% I knew nothing so I didn't know where to look, I found my sister, but we spent almost 15 minutes looking for him...when we finally did, we went back to his room and I sat down on his bed...Laura asked for some water and so they both go downstairs...now from what Laura told me was that he said I was very pretty...and that given the chance he would ask me out...and that he had a crush on me...when they finally go upstairs again Laura says this to us:

Laura: Ashley you like Madi?? and Madi you really like Ashley.
We both nod and just stare at each other...
Laura: SO kiss and make out!!!! peace!! (she then goes downstairs and leaves us)

He stayed quiet and he felt a little embarrassed but I finally was able to talk and asked him to please sit next to me...that evening was the best ever... we confessed our feelings and things went on a couple of days later he left "Nancy" and it was pure joy.

But with happiness also comes some bad news, I didn't graduate on time...my parents didn't feel like it was my fault because they noticed I worked hard in school and at work...so my counselor said that the only way to get a diploma was to complete a few classes in school in the summer...and a science course at adult school in a period of a month and I could not fail not once at any tests...and so I did... it was the best summer ever because I got to spend it with my boyfriend...we did a lot together...and I kept him a secret from my family for a time, then my mother got to know him...then my grandparents...and then something horrible happened...something that completely crushed me...

We Moved...

Art by Sascalia

School

By the time I was in Junior High (Eastmont) we had to move again because us girls were growing, by the age of 15 I started to work with my mother at a sewing company (Felix Company) I only worked weekends with my mother but I learned the value of a pay check at a very early age...and I also started noticing boys... so finally when we all made it to High School (Schurr) I met my 1st boyfriend, Laura met her 1st few crushes and my other sister Kimmy had her special classes, yes my sister was diagnosed with Autism, a mild deficiency of the brain, she would not talk at all but she was good in art and anything to do with drawing.

By the end my junior yr, my whole family decided to move again, but it was gonna be much further we had moved about 3 times since Sadler... and we now had to go to the city of Norwalk... I went to another High School (Gahr) I did not like it, the only comfort for me was that me and my sisters had a class together and the perfect one which was Art, Kimmy was always shy therefore she always needed my help, in one of those few classes my other sister met a very weird girl, ( I can't tell u her name LOL, but lets give her a simple name "Nancy" ) she was not the type of girl I would become really close friends with, but she was the only girl we talked too, so we went along with her and her weird boyfriend who were in constant arguing all the time... she finally broke up with him and found a new guy... for a couple of weeks I didn't really believe what she was saying..."I like my new boyfriend cause I need someone to give me something on Valentines Day" I was like "uh huh??" in the end the mistery guy finally appeared, when I saw him he seemed very quiet, always with his big CD player, always with a sweater and his hood on...never talking, we did see each other a couple of times, but we ignored each other most of the time...

Me being the funny person that I am finally decided to talk to him, and I also told "Nancy" to introduce him to us... and so he said his name...

Art by Sascalia

Mariana

Origin of my name: Mariana...Feminine form of Marian, which is from the Latin Marianus (of Marius), a name derived from Mars, the name of the Roman mythological god of war. As a result of similarity of form, the name became associated with Maria, the name of the Blessed Virgin, and was often bestowed in her honor, and the meaning of Mariana is "star of the sea"

Well this "star of the sea" was born in a little country right down the middle of what is now called Central America, my country is Guatemala, and I was born in the capital of Guatemala, which is Guatemala City... haha my country is known for: Having spectacular volcanoes, gorgeous highlands and some of the best Mayan ruins you are going to find anywhere in Latin America. One thing it is not known for is its beaches. That being said, there are still spots along the Pacific coast where you can find some nice black sand Guatemala beaches resulting from the volcanic nature of the country. While none of these are going to make a "world's best beaches list" anytime soon, they offer a change from the highlands, and will appease most visitors nonetheless. The east coast of Guatemala is relatively small, offering practically nothing in the way of a quality Guatemala beach.

But what I admire the most of it all is its many of the indigenous peoples of Guatemala are of Maya heritage. Other groups are Xinca people and Garifuna, coming from such a small country and having so much rich history in Mayan culture and of course the art is admirable...

But my true story... My family story, the journey to today... so many stories alike and so many different, we were the lucky ones...My whole family is from Guatemala, my grandparents and my parents of course me and my sister Laura, except for Kimberly. We (the first 2) came to this country very young I don't remeber the trip actually, I was too young I was gonna be 2yrs old. from what my mother and father have told me is that my granfather (Carlos Alvarez aka Tito) was the 1st to make up his mind to go to the USA, so he left promising to come back home, the plan was for him to go work for a couple of years and then come home :( and 3 yrs went by, there were letters, and there was money but no Tito my grandmother (Rosa Alvarez aka Tita)...and at the time my dad (Carlos Peña) was going out with my mom (Lidia Peña), until they had finally decided to wed... my Tito said to wait, but my parents being young and full of life, did not wait and decided to go on with the ceremony, then my mom moved into my dad's house with my Tita , like about a month after my paren's honeymoon, my mother figured she was pregnant which what comes naturally after marriage right?

I was born on August 27th of 1984...My name was given to me by my dad, my great grandmother was named Mariana and was a strong woman with a very short temper, worked all her life, and I was and still am honored I hold her name...In those early days of my childhood I was the only little thing my Tita found that gave her pure joy, and so with her love and affection and complete attention I was given the best any caring Tita would give... a month after I was born my mother found out she had become pregnant AGAIN!!! hahaha welcoming my baby sister Laura, knowing this my Tito decided that it was better for my Tita to go to the USA and find work and then come back to us... My Tita said it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, she had never left my dad, and had never made such a journey... my Tito paid a "coyote" who basically is a person who waits for your loved ones at a certain point and works his way into bringing the people you love to you in the end...we were fortunate to have had a good guy, most "coyotes" don't finish the job and keep the money, some just kill your loved ones and take your money... so we were lucky nothing had happened to her, and she finally was reunited with my Tito.

My dad had written to my Tita saying that it was very hard for them to keep living in Guatemala and violence was getting pretty bad spacially around the area we had lived, in the end my Tito taking the initiative again and my father knowing what initiative and plan that was, we all soon got prepared to leave our country to find a better future and a better place to live...my mother said good bye to all of her 9 siblings, to her parents my Grandma Clementina and Gradfather Ramon... and so we left, passing through the nothern part of our country to finally reach the tip of Mexico, going further and further every day, it was hot, very humid and my mother was scared, my sister got sick a couple of times, and we didn't have much to eat... at one point my mother, sister and me got kidnapped so says my father, things got resolved quickly he never told me how nor do I question him about it for now, and so we went through Texas, finally reaching Arizona, getting into California, and finally on Soto St. and Whittier my Tita hugged me and cried, and I got to meet my Tito for the very 1st time...I was not wearing any shoes, I had a just a big shirt on we were all dirty, my Tita bathed us fed all of us, my mother got to meet her father in law...and things seemed to going pretty good.

About 2 yrs later, my mother found out she was pregnant again, my father was so super happy because what he had always wished for was to have a child in the promised land, so Little Kimberly was born... the family growing bigger and bigger and money coming in at a good rate, the 4 adults decided to move to a bigger house, in the city of LA, close to the City of Whittier, it was a big house I shared my bedroom with my 2 sisters, my parents had their room and so did my grandparents we lived in that house on Sadler St for 10 yrs...

Art by Sascalia